January 2009
4 posts
sometimes you've got to fold before you're found...
i’m so sad, i don’t want to go back to school. mostly, i don’t want to go to gym 1st period. >: ( oh well. i’ve been sleeping so much lately, it’s kind of stupid. i feel like i wasted too much of my break on sleeping. i should probably have not stayed up 24+ hours watching general hospital marathons on youtube though. i’ll try to keep that in mind for my next...
this won't work now the way it once did, and i...
blah, i’ve been thinking about a lot. it’s weird to look back just one year, and see how much has changed. the bad thing is that some people that actually made you happy fucked you over and they’re not in your life anymore. the good thing is that you don’t have to worry about getting fucked over by your “best friends”. oh well, point being is that no matter how bad you think everything is, you’ll...
“so much for all the promises you made. they served you well, and now...”
– Dashboard Confessional (Rapid Hope Loss)
December 2008
30 posts
do you see? it takes everything to be in this...
today was actually good, well for the most part. i went to bed at 12 and ended up waking up at 5am. i had the worst dream too. eep. went back to sleep, woke up at 9, got ready to go to the mall, then slept a little more and hung out until 5. i went to the mall, got some stuff, and then i saw some familiar looking mexican girl. D : after the mall i went over to my aunt’s grandma’s...
this week or last week, i don't really care about...
i just got back from the behind the wheel lesson from hell. my normal partner wasn’t there. even though he’s kind of weird and wears dress shoes every day, he was a lot better than that chola that smelled like weed and vodka. oh well. my teacher kept saying words, but i was too tired to understand them. i hope it wasn’t too important. my new blackberry came today, so yay for...
i miss my mary.
Mary: You're going to crash tomorrow when you're driving.
Me: If I even get up.
say you're sorry, that face of an angel comes out...
today was an especially lazy sunday. i woke up at about one, layed around and watched general hospital until four, and then ate a waffle! i’m such a bum. i really need to start driving. i haven’t driven for three or four weeks, and tomorrow morning i have a behind the wheel lesson. oops! this quarter, i’ve had to go to school at 9 in the morning THREE times because of stupid...
go ahead, waste your time, count me out, take your...
hm, so yesterday was kind of uneventful. i got up at 12, and my behind the wheel teacher called to tell me that i have a lesson @ 9 on monday. haha, it sucks. i wish i was done, i’m supposed to be completed with everything now. fucking midwest snow. yesterday was a very long day. i woke up at 11 and went to sleep at 8am the next morning. my day consisted of sleeping and drinking tea. oh, i...
“my heart will simply fall apart in so many pieces if you turn around and tell me...”
– Rie Sinclair (Already Over)
i love megan!
megan: why does googles image look like saddam hussein?
me: it's like, they have a mother's day one with flowers, a fathers day one with a golf ball, and then a christmas one with a terrorist.
you said move on, where do i go? i guess second...
i could say that i’ll always be there for you, but that would be a lie and quite a pointless thing to do. i could say that i’ll always have feelings for you.
today is my best friend’s birthday. i love her so much. i wish i could have hung out with her today, but she was busy with some family stuff. hopefully tomorrow, if the weather’s not too bad, we might go over to the...
would i be letting you win in my non-reaction?
today started out really good, but somehow, by sixth period took a complete 360. i don’t even know why i try in chemistry, it’s not worth a shit. my f on the cumulative test made a semester and quarter grades both big fat D’s. i don’t even know, i don’t know if i should care or not. it wouldn’t be worth taking the final, there’s no way in hell i could get...
you should know my story by now, and why i'm...
i get uncertain, i promise i’ll be perfect from now own. but all my promises, they’re out the window once you’re gone. you packed your bags you said ‘i love you, but i cannot stay’, so i started smoking, i thought the signals would scare your wolves away.
my weekend was pretty lame, so far anyway. last night i went to my grandma’s and played games with my aunts...
“So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and...”
– The Perks Of Being A Wallflower
and i can't stop talking for fear of listening to...
where do you go with your broken heart in tow? what do you do with the left over you? how do you know when to let go? where does the good go?
today was such a long day. first off, i woke up a half-hour earlier than i usually do. school went on and on. i had a test in spanish (which i totally bombed), a quiz in history (which i think i did okay on), a packet to do in chemistry to help study for...
“let’s be outspoken, let’s be ridiculous, let’s solve the...”
– alanis morissette
how do you live so happily while i am sad and...
look me in the eye and tell me you don’t find me attractive, look me in the heart and tell me you won’t go. look me in the eye and promise no love is like our love, look me in the heart and unbreak broken, it won’t happen.
i had a pretty okay day, for the most part. i had to ride the bus in the morning, but it wasn’t as bad as i had expected. i actually finished all of my...
“you say “stay”, but what does that mean? do you honestly think i...”
i love my best friend.
me: you look like quasi moto.
lia: you look like esmeralda's goat.
i've never been careless, otherless like...
grand disonance, the strings of my puppet are cut. the end of an era, your discrediting has lost my consent.
wow-i slept a lot yesterday. i came home at 3, took an hour nap. left at 5 for behind the wheel, came home at 5:30, watched some t.v. and then slept until 11am. haha. wow, what a way to spend a friday night! well, doesn’t matter. i’m grounded anyway. stupid spanish. >: (
...
sometimes you make me want to quit.
i'm so far along, and i just don't need you.
newest myspace picture.
it rains when you're here, and it rains when...
all this time i was wasting, hoping you would come around. i’ve been giving out chances everytime and all you do is let me down. and it’s taking me this long baby, but i’ve figured you out. today has been kind of sucky. school was okay, tutoring was cancelled due to the snow. when i got home i had to shovel though, and after that i went to take a hot shower. nope, no hot water. but it...
it's hard enough to see the world as it is and...
it’s 2:41am. i just finished my spanish project. it looks like shit and honestly, i don’t give a fuck. my teacher can shove it.
spanish makes me hate my llife.
sup megamazing: I JUST SPILT MILK ON MY PROJECT
dom is an eskimo: QUE OSCO, LA LECHE!
dom is an eskimo: (translation) how terrible, dairy!
sup megamazing: hahahaha.
i’ve got to fold because these hands are just too...
i know that you just want to see me get up upset. my world turned upside-down, so what did you expect? my heart is aching, and i’ve never felt this bad. i pinch myself to check that all of this is real.
as of today, i’ve realized that i don’t care. well, it’s not that i don’t care, because i’ll always care for that person. it’s that i can’t care. i need to move on, at last. it’s so hard and some...
you can read me oscar wilde, and i can read your...
i miss you, and i want you. but you’re not coming back. i need you, but i can’t have you even when you’re here.
today was a very boring sunday. i woke up at 2pm, haha. i usually hate waking up late, but i didn’t really care today. my long weekend really fucked up my sleeping schedule, hopefully i won’t be too messed up during school times. i really miss my phone, i...
November 2008
23 posts
that i would be good, whether with or without you.
the bruises, they will fade away. you hit so hard with the things you say. still i wish you’d ask me not to go. luck is running out of time, you’re not in love with me anymore.
i really fucking hate this damn cold. not being able to breathe out of one nostril is not only extremely unpleasant, but is very annoying. other than my stupid sickness today was alright. i got a duplicate copy...
“you think you’re the right ones. you think you’re the charmed ones,...”
– alanis morissette
are you still mad that i had an emotional affair?
what would it take for me to be with you? i swear i’d rip my heart out if you said you’d be impressed.
i’m so sick, it’s gross. i hate having a stuffy/runny nose. i hate having a sore throat. i have having a sinus headache all day. other than being gross, today was good. i went to my grandma’s and…well, actually that’s about it. thanksgiving is kind of a...
after a year like this one, i'm surprised that i...
i seriously just sat through forty five minutes of rosie o’donnell’s variety show to watch alanis morissette sing ‘not as we’, and it wasn’t even that great. oh well, i still love alanis. my head hurts so bad right now, i hate having a headache. my uncle and aunt came over tonight, it’s nice to chit-chat with people that live far away. i really enjoy holidays...
you're my daydream, does it make you homesick for...
this week or last week, i don’t really care about it anymore. i write myself this later, i tell myself you let me go. without me, what’s wrong with you?
wow-yesterday really sucked. school was good, for the most part anyway. after school i stayed after to finish up some homework and by the time i got home i was fucking exhausted. not only did i not to any homework (besides the one...
“sup megamazing: YOU CAN RUN YOU CAN HIDE BUT YOU CAN’T ESCAPE MY LOVE!”
and i never dreamed i would have to lay down my...
and i’m here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away. it’s not fair to deny me of the cross i bear that you gave to me.
hm, it’s been an odd weekend so far. my mid-term got me grounded. stupid spanish. anywho, i’ve been in a good mood lately. aha. i need a haircut though. now i’m watching snl and doing laundry.
awh. i love general hospital. it’s...
i wish i could say 'no regrets', 'no emotional...
this shit’s making me crazy, the way you nullify what’s in my head. you say one thing, so another, then argue that’s not what you did. your way’s making me mental, how you filter as skewed interpret.
today dragged on and on, it seems. i was really excited for my mid-term because i thought i did really good. well, my spanish teacher decided that she would put in a random...
i still get lost in your eyes, and it seems that i...
repeat, repeat the words that i know we’ve both said. relax into the need, we get so comfortable. remember when i was so strange and likeable? i just want back in your head.
today went to shit by the same person, as per usual. i don’t know what to do,i know i shouldn’t let myself get hurt but i can’t just give up on a friendship. blah, i hate it. other than that today was...
and though i'd love to blame you for all, i miss...
with this prolonged exposure to mirror undiverted eyes, i feign that i’ve been waiting such mileage for empathizing.
this weekend has been going okay. i didn’t really do anything though. haha. friday i had behind the wheel. by the by, i’m beginning to hate my driving partner. dfasdfsd. anyway, last night was good. my monitor broke, so i had to get a new one. oh, snl was fucking...
you seem very well, things looks peaceful. i'm not...
i don’t want to dissect everything today, i don’t mean to pick you apart you see, but i can’t help it.
so, yesterday was okay. i hate how habitual my weeks become. i want to start changing my schedule up, just for fun. anyway, today was good as well. sometimes i wonder exactly why some people feel obliged to (purposely or not) make me feel like shit. i don’t believe that...
i will move beyond, i'm certain of that. the...
i feel cute right now. i’m watching chelsea lately, eating a spinach calzone, and drinking diet cranberry 7up. oh, i’m not wearing pants either! haha.
the first day of behind the wheel wasn’t bad. suprisingly enough, my partner and i didn’t end up hitting any stray animals or being charged with vehicular manslaughter. haha. today was pretty much okay. i pretty much hung...
and i'm here to remind you of the mess you left...
i don’t have much to write about today. i’m so tired right now, i want to sleep so bad. i really don’t want to get up and have to go driving. i’m nervous about starting behind the wheel and i really hope cody pratt (whoever the fuck that is) is a shit driver, so i don’t look completely retarded when i suck at turning. haha.
i love staying up late and watching...
but when all of my clothes feel like somebody's...
and i always was, and always was one for crying, always the one for tears. the sun’s getting cold, it’s snowing. it looks like an early winter for us.
today was really good! i got up at 11-ish and read ‘veronika decides to die’ for a while, then i got up, showered, got cute and went to go driving. went to barstow, it was hellla fun. then i stopped at my aunts &...